What Do You Do When One Particular Bridesmaid Is Stressing You Out?

I’ve seen this time and time again. There is almost always one particular bridesmaid or family member that is stressful around your wedding day. Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of your life. If you’ve planned a bigger wedding instead of eloping, this post might help you navigate through relationships.

What happens when one of your bridesmaids is turning your dream wedding into a source of stress? Whether she’s constantly complaining, making everything about her, or just not being supportive, navigating this situation can feel overwhelming.

Take a deep breath—you’re not alone. Many brides face this challenge, and there are ways to handle it without drama or guilt. Here’s how to deal with a stressful bridesmaid while keeping your peace (and your friendships) alive.

1. Identify the Root of the Stress

Before reacting, ask yourself: Why are they stressing me out?

• Is she being negative about the wedding details?
• Is she unreliable or not showing up for events?
• Is she bringing personal drama into your wedding planning?
• Is she making demands that feel unreasonable?

Sometimes, people act out when they feel overwhelmed, jealous, unheard, or pressured. Figuring out why she’s behaving this way will help you address the situation more effectively.

2. Set Clear Expectations Early

I’ve been guilty of this myself. Setting Expectations early is one of the biggest ways you can eliminate drama from the start. If you haven’t already, make sure your bridal party understands their roles and responsibilities. This may be really hard to hear but not everyone will care about your wedding day as much as you do. Some people don’t realize how much work goes into a wedding, so they may not even know they’re causing stress.

• Send a group message or email with key dates, budget expectations, and any must-dos.
• If a specific bridesmaid keeps dropping the ball, check in with her privately. This does not have to be confrontational. If you come at the conversation with empathy and understanding, this will help!

3. Have an Honest Conversation

If her behavior is becoming a real issue, don’t bottle it up—address it directly and calmly. This sounds a lot easier than it actually is to do. Not everyone has this personality- to be able to confront, and have conversations. But, being honest, open and not harboring ill feelings is truly being loving. Being open and truthful about how you’re feeling, is key.

• Choose the right time and place. A casual coffee meetup or phone call is better than texting.
• Use “I” statements. Say, “I’ve been feeling really stressed about planning, and I need my bridesmaids to be a source of support” instead of “You’re making this hard for me.”
• Give her a chance to explain. Maybe she’s dealing with something personal and didn’t realize how she was acting. Everyone is dealing with things that some of us know nothing about.

Sometimes, an open conversation can fix everything—and sometimes, it reveals that she’s just not in a place to be the best bridesmaid right now. You have to be ok with her walking away, and not having ill feelings toward her.

4. Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them!)

If the stress continues, it’s okay to protect your peace by setting firm boundaries.

• Limit how much wedding info you share with her. Some bridesmaids love to give unsolicited opinions—if she’s one of them, share only what she needs to know.
• Delegate tasks wisely. If she’s unreliable, don’t assign her important responsibilities. Instead, give her a minor role that won’t impact your big day.
• Ignore the small stuff. If she’s being mildly annoying but not causing actual harm, try to let it roll off your back and focus on the excitement of your wedding. But, TRULY let this roll off your back. Don’t gossip about it with the other bridesmaids. She WILL hear about it if not on your wedding day, then after and it will cause more drama.

5. Consider an Honest Step-down Strategy

In extreme cases, you might need to ask her to step down. This is never easy, but if her behavior is truly affecting your mental health, your wedding happiness is more important. This day is for you and your new spouse, and only for you and your new spouse.

• Frame it as a concern for her, not just you: “I know you have a lot going on, and I don’t want this to be stressful for you.” But, be very confirming that you are asking her to step away. “We have already decided…” statements.
• Be prepared for her to react emotionally, but stay firm in your decision.

6. Lean on Your Support System

You don’t have to handle this alone! Talk to your parents, fiancé, or one trusted friend about the situation. Sometimes, just venting to the right person can help you gain perspective and keep your cool. Again, be sure you’re not gossiping or whining about the situation. Truly be open for advice. Maybe there is something YOU could do to change the situation without having to confront your bridesmaid.

7. Keep The Focus on What Truly Matters

At the end of the day, this day is about you and your spouse making the biggest commitment of your life! Your wedding is about celebrating love—not stressing over one person’s attitude. If you find yourself getting wrapped up in bridesmaid drama, take a step back.

• Look at the bigger picture: Will this even matter in five years?
• Focus on the people who are excited and supportive.
• Remember: You deserve a joyful wedding experience.

Lastly

Handling a difficult bridesmaid isn’t fun, but it doesn’t have to take over your wedding. By addressing issues early, setting boundaries, and staying focused on what truly matters, you can keep the joy in your wedding planning—and maybe even salvage the friendship in the process.

If this sounds like something you’d most certainly run into with your friend group or family, consider a destination elopement wedding. This day is truthfully all about you and your spouse, and nothing else. You can still celebrate with your family if you decide a destination elopement is what you’d like to do. Have a reception at home when you return.

Hope this help!
xoxo E